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Considering child adoption please read this

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  • Considering child adoption please read this

    A close relative lost and their 2 kids, between ages 0-2. They are in foster care & looking for an adoptive family. I know the chances of them being adopted together are very low (They already mentioned separating them) & even separated they could still be in the system for years before being adopted. Ive seen first hand how terrible it all can be & do not want these sweet kids to have to go through that. My husband & I would love to adopt them but we already have 1,3 and 5 year old toddler boys. I have had all 5 of them together quite often & besides small arguments between the youngest 2 girls & my 3 year old they generally get along well.

    A few issues I am worried about are:


    • The chance that they might endanger my toddlers - They are very sweet kids & their temperaments have improved dramatically since being in foster care but they have been somewhat aggressive in the past.
    • Space - We own a 3 bedroom home currently but are searching for a larger house. DHS said they may be able to make an exception since we are relatives. The girls would still have more space than they ever have before.

    My husband has a good job & we have good health insurance so financially we may need to be a little more frugal but it shouldn’t cause any problems. We have always wanted to adopt a sibling group but ideally younger than our biological children and once we have bought a larger house & farm. Are we crazy for wanting to do this? Do you think it would be a good or bad idea for our family?

    I would love to hear input especially from adoptive parents, adoptive siblings & adoptees!

  • #2
    Hello contact (inforhope11965@gmail.com) if you are interested in child adoption , My husband and I adopted from here privately . Thanks

    Christine

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    • #3
      It's wonderful that you're considering adopting your close relative's children! It sounds like you have a lot of love to give and a big heart. One suggestion would be to speak with a foster or adoption agency to get more information and support. They can provide you with helpful resources and answer any questions. It's important to ensure that your family is equipped to handle the challenges of adopting children in foster care. And if you need any further guidance, Foster Plus is a great resource to check out: https://fosterplus.org/about/foster-plus-agencies. Best of luck on your adoption journey!
      Last edited by schetchshow; 02-23-2023, 11:53 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by mm6349000 View Post
        A close relative lost and their 2 kids, between ages 0-2. They are in foster care & looking for an adoptive family. I know the chances of them being adopted together are very low (They already mentioned separating them) & even separated they could still be in the system for years before being adopted. Ive seen first hand how terrible it all can be & do not want these sweet kids to have to go through that. My husband & I would love to adopt them but we already have 1,3 and 5 year old toddler boys. I have had all 5 of them together quite often & besides small arguments between the youngest 2 girls & my 3 year old they generally get along well.

        A few issues I am worried about are:


        • The chance that they might endanger my toddlers - They are very sweet kids & their temperaments have improved dramatically since being in foster care but they have been somewhat aggressive in the past.
        • Space - We own a 3 bedroom home currently but are searching for a larger house. DHS said they may be able to make an exception since we are relatives. The girls would still have more space than they ever have before.

        My husband has a good job & we have good health insurance so financially we may need to be a little more frugal but it shouldn’t cause any problems. We have always wanted to adopt a sibling group but ideally younger than our biological children and once we have bought a larger house & farm. Are we crazy for wanting to do this? Do you think it would be a good or bad idea for our family?

        I would love to hear input especially from adoptive parents, adoptive siblings & adoptees!
        It's clear that you have a big heart and a strong desire to help your close relative's children by considering adoption. However, this is a complex and life-altering decision that requires careful consideration, both for your own family and for the well-being of the children involved. Here are some points to think about:
        1. Safety and Well-being: It's crucial to prioritize the safety and well-being of all the children involved. You mentioned concerns about the possibility of the adopted children endangering your toddlers. This is a valid concern, and it's essential to assess whether your home environment can provide the necessary support and structure for all the children, considering their individual needs.
        2. Space: A larger house would provide more space, but it's essential to ensure that each child has a comfortable and safe living arrangement. If DHS is willing to make an exception due to the family relationship, that's a positive sign, but still, assess whether the space will meet everyone's needs.
        3. Emotional Support: Adoption can be emotionally challenging for both the adopted children and your existing family members. It's important to consider how you will provide emotional support to all your children, including helping them adjust to a new family dynamic.
        4. Financial Considerations: While you mentioned that your family can be financially frugal if needed, adopting and raising additional children will have financial implications. Make sure to have a solid plan for meeting the financial needs of your expanded family.
        5. Long-term Commitment: Adoption is a lifelong commitment, and it's important to be prepared for the challenges and joys that come with it. Assess your ability to provide a stable and loving home for these children throughout their lives.
        6. Professional Advice: Consult with adoption professionals, social workers, and therapists who can provide guidance and assessments to help you make an informed decision.
        7. Sibling Dynamics: While you've observed positive interactions between your children and the adopted children, it's essential to remember that living together full-time can be very different. Sibling dynamics can evolve over time, so be prepared for potential conflicts and ensure you have strategies to address them.
        8. Legal Considerations: Be aware of the legal processes and requirements for adoption in your jurisdiction, especially when adopting from foster care. Consult with an attorney who specializes in adoption to understand the legal aspects.
        9. Support Network: Ensure you have a strong support network of family and friends who can assist you during the adoption process and in raising a larger family.

        Ultimately, whether adopting these children is a good idea for your family depends on your ability to meet their physical, emotional, and developmental needs while maintaining a stable and loving home for all your children. It's important to approach this decision with openness, patience, and a willingness to adapt as circumstances change. Consider reaching out to adoption agencies, therapists, and support groups to gather more insights and advice specific to your situation.

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